As of right now, in this moment, I feel good and I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m content and excited. I don’t feel anxious and I don’t feel like I’m on the edge of a spiral. I feel less dependent. I feel like I can handle life right now.
^^^I haven’t been able to say that in so long, it really feels like a weight has been lifted. I’m enjoying being functional (even though this pile of clean clothes has been on my bed for a few days now *eyeroll*). Maybe there is something behind these aura cleanses and moon rituals. They have been an experiment with very little risk and a potentially great reward. If the reward is not feeling like I’m on the edge of a cliff every moment of every day then bless!
Also, don’t ask me why I’m writing this at 1:30 in the morning when I have to work in 7 hours because I don’t have answers.
The number of risky text messages I send in a day is fascinating. If I sent the wrong text to the wrong conversation, I’d have to delete my existence and move to a forest because people would not be able to handle it. Perceptions of me would dramatically shift if that ever happened, which is why everybody’s conversations are a different color.
Being petty has no purpose if the person you’re being petty toward literally doesn’t care or is just oblivious to everything.
**Some people are not in a position of giving advice or guidance. I’ve seen your life, I don’t want to replicate any part of it. If you know so much, then why aren’t you doing better? (That would be a subtweet if this was twitter to two very specific people.)**
I sent a DM that I thought would end horribly in my embarrassment. It did not. *snaps*
Time, drinking water and crying until you throw up really does fix everything… It may take awhile and you will feel like it will never end but it eventually does and then you will wonder if you actually died or not. (I’m pretty sure I died metaphorically and physically at least once.)
I’m not an island and not everyone is evil. I just have a habit of attracting things/people that reflect how I feel and getting caught in the vicious cycle of feeling bad and then worse.
Can everybody calm down about this Finesse Remix???? It’s really not that deep and some of y’all just want a reason to be mad at something less important than Flint not having clean water or Puerto Rico not having power. Some of y’all are just mad because Cardi B is on the remix and she has was winning more in 2017 because she ACTUALLY put the work in instead of posting inspirational messages on social media all the time.
I’m making a conscious effort this year to be more vocal and not be as low-key as I normally am. This is proving to be easier than I thought but I’ve been feeling myself for the past two weeks so there’s that.
Until next time,