Growing up as an only child, I’m used to fighting all of my battles solo. I’ve never been a “I’m gonna go get my mom/cousin/auntie” type of kid because they were usually a good 40 minutes drive away. So I went up against teachers, peers and supervisors on my own. Throughout my life I learned a few valuable lessons:
1. I’m going to always piss somebody off because I know who I am, my ability/skill level and my work ethic better than anyone else.
2. Only 3 women scare me. They’re all Black women that are related to me and one is in the Ancestral Plane. The rest of y’all are just gonna have to be mad because y’all won’t physically fight me and I have better things to do.
3. I no longer hold my personal value in a title someone else gave me. Any label or title someone else gives me can be taken away just as quickly. From being a supervisor, to lead of a team, to girlfriend or wife. I refuse to let other people define me and that really pisses off white people. And guess what? I really don’t care.
4. As long as I have the right people who see me as the great employee, dope friend and decent human I am, no one else can alter my path that I’ve boldly chosen. If you can’t influence my paycheck one way or the other, it doesn’t really matter if you don’t like me. Stay mad.
5. White opinions about me mean nothing. Zilch. Nada. Zero. If you like me, that’s amazing. If you don’t, I don’t care. I’m not here to teach you how to calm your racism, sexism, ableism or homophobia down. There are plenty of brilliant Black woman to do it. They have degrees AND they give seminars, TED talks and write books for this exact purpose. Hire one to teach you better. I’m just not one of them and I’m not apologizing for it. You have already been engrained to think I’m less than you just because I’m female and Black. I know how utterly fantastic of a human I am. It sucks that you don’t.
I would much rather be disliked and authentic than fake and loved. If I am authentically myself all the time, you loving or hating me has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. I’m sorry you are denying yourself the pleasure of knowing how big my heart it and how hard I work, but I promise you that I won’t lose any sleep or calories about it.
This was a slightly outraged, slightly annoyed, but mostly humored rant by me. Enjoy the rest of your day and remember that white supremacy has absolutely no basis to be valid so crush it with force!