Sometimes, I do low risk things to see if they benefit me. The confusing part of this is I’m not sure which particular things are assisting which part of my life. But rather than try to isolate various things and risk regression, I’ll accept the progress and keep doing all the things.
These New Moon and Full Moon rituals are an exercise in manifestation and letting go. They don’t require much, just a pen, a loose piece of paper, a notebook/journal and a lighter every 2 weeks. Takes 10 minutes max. Putting pen to paper already has a magical property. It solidifies what you want, or don’t want, to the universe. Funny thing about the universe — it’s you. Yes, you, the person reading this where ever you are currently located, how ever you are feeling in this present moment. You can shape your reality into what you want it to be. For me, this principle directly conflicts with my Christian upbringing, so I decided to let that outdated and harmfully patriarchal philosophy go because it didn’t serve me. Christianity says that I’m worthless, stupid and lost without this supreme being who figured everything out for me and requires total and complete submission. It takes away my free will, possibility of personal evolution and self-reliance. My autonomy is very important to me and “God” makes it clear that I was created to make him look good. I can’t scoff loud enough. Any god that can watch people endure hundreds of years worth of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual trauma on a daily basis isn’t a god I want to subscribe to. But hey, that’s just me. So I suggest this principle: somehow, we are here, existing, on Earth, through some very random yet specific circumstances. We can debate all day long about how we got here, but we are here. And since all of these specific and random events had to happen for you to even exist . . . What are you going to do with it? You have plenty of superficial options but everything boils down to three effects you will have: increase the vibrations, lower the vibrations, or you don’t affect the vibrations of the universe and leave it as is.
As you have probably gathered, I decided to actively increase the vibrations over the sum of my life and I plan to do this with whatever natural talents I have (when I eventually find them and refine them). In order to do this, I want my personal reality to look and feel a certain way. My internal environment needs to feel safe, secure and grounded. How do I achieve this? Good question, I’m still learning, but the past few months have taught me a lot about manifestation while I’m still in the beginning stages of it. (This isn’t going to be a how-to article to manifest millions of dollars or a happy marriage or new shoes. This is an exercise in formulating and understanding a concept.) My brain likes to know the “why?” behind things. It’s probably why I despise going to church. It required me to subscribe to conflicting principles at the same time for the sermon to work. This brings me to my conclusion: at it’s core, manifestation is simply acknowledging to yourself what you want in which ever method feels right to you. Writing, dancing, chanting, speaking, extensive internal monologues, etc. It restores your autonomy, self-confidence, and connection to yourself. If this sounds completely foreign to you, then try the following exercise:
Sit in a quiet place and ask yourself why you are doing everything in your life. Here are some examples:
- Why do you work here?
- Why do you watch this tv show?
- Why do you keep texting a person who is clearly ignoring you? Why are you ignoring a person who clearly wants to talk to you?
- What makes you feel good? When was the last time you did it? Why don’t you do it more often?
- What (or who) makes you feel bad? Why do you feel bad after the interaction? Why do you keep interacting with things and people that make you feel bad?
- What are three things you want to do today? What can stop you from doing them?
- What three things did you not want to do today? Why did you do them? Are they serving your highest good in anyway? Are they feeding into bad habits?
Some of your answers might hurt. They might really suck. You might look at some people differently and ask “why are you here again?” These questions might trigger a time of self-reflection. You will start to see where changes needs to be made. I started to make some changes in alignment with my intentions, purely for my peace and freedom. Other people started to notice and I became very self conscious. Then, I realized that I had been flying under the radar for 23 years and all of my goals require me to be visible, present, and accessible. You can’t have a successful company, collective or blog if no one knows it exists. If Janet Jackson had only performed in her shower, she wouldn’t have sold out arenas around the world. So… I’m barely visible right now and I feel really exposed. I’m sure my mom has shared more about my plant based journey than I have, but I’m making strides to change that. The feeling of being paralyzed in headlights is becoming less common and I’m becoming more comfortable with people seeing me. I can trace this back to my father reminding me that other people were doing what I wanted to do and were already better at it.
As an introverted, water and earth dominant, ‘minding my own business,’ Black girl in this location known as America, I try to remain as chill as possible. Between this childish cheese puff, men justifying abusive behavior, our mothers’ respectability politics and capitalism . . . I can’t deal most of the time so I ignore it and eat some fruits and watch Bob’s Burgers to calm my nerves…. honestly, everyone should do this at least once a day. The only time I exit my “chill” is when someone pushes me and I can’t react how I want to to make them stop. If I could pop off just one time on some people, entire issues wouldn’t exist anymore. But alas, *cough*white*cough* people are more concerned about feelings than actually doing their job or not destroying people/places/things.
So here I am, telling myself/the universe exactly what I want and trusting that my highest good will heavily influnce my path and outcome. It been working so far! I’ve manifested internal balance, a reliable methodology to regain my balance and peace, calmer surroundings and a dope new job with people I adore and love working with. Basically…. my life is becoming #Goals, slowly but surely.