Everyone tells you that you have time and it gets better, but you lack the personal experience to fully believe them. It’s like going on your first roller coaster. You know it’s going to end (at some point) you just lack the personal experience to be able to judge “when” it should end. You can’t determine if it’s too long or too short simply due to lack of exposure. Logically speaking, you won’t be on a roller coaster for 45 minutes but it may feel like a 45 minute roller coaster.
Now, at 23, I’m realizing that I can move in the world differently than I did at 18 or 19. I can go to get drinks with friends, travel, order random things from Amazon, or just operate knowing what to expect on a day to day basis.
I say all of that to say this…
Being 23 feels very strange and foreign. It just does. Almost everyday is a new surprise. I grew up with strict Christian parents and very little freedom. I just learned to stay home because it was easier than going through the interrogation of going anywhere past the driveway. The effort wasn’t worth the reward, in my teenage eyes. This strongly impacted the way I make friends today and it’s not how I pictured my 20s going. Really, there isn’t a single part of my current life that I predicted. I’m an introvert too! That only compounds my ability to stay home and quiet. Now that I’m older, I can actually go and do things like meet up with friends at CityWalk or get drinks/coffee at Foxtail Coffee or sit in Infusion Tea and blog.
While I understand that everything is temporary and will eventually work out to my highest good, it’s hard to believe it at times. Occasionally, I feel like I’ll never get to where I want to go. But then I remember that I’m only 23 and I have plenty of time of accomplish my goals. They aren’t even a list at this point, they’re two large conglomerates of ideas designed to obliterate systems we have been stuck in for hundreds of years. It’s a lot for one to tackle by 30, I’ve accepted that I won’t be done until 60 at the earliest. I have plenty of time for the big picture. Any setback or delay I experience now is only going to set me up for something greater. I will learn from everything and learning isn’t always fun. Anything premature is going to have complications, but waiting for the pieces and energy to be right feels like torture.