Umm… let me start off by saying that I’m in a very sensitive place right now because I’m just a sensitive human being. There is a 99% chance I’m forehead deep into my feelings at any given point. These can be good or bad feelings or just pondering feelings in general, but I be in them like a pig loves mud. Don’t ask me where that country reference came from, let’s just laugh, accept that it happened and move on with this post. Great!
Tarot. Source. And all that good stuff. (Just found the title of this post. Goals! I didn’t even over think that one, it just flowed.)
(Before you look at me crazy and text me talking about “okay girl….” with the side eye, just finish the post AND THEN text me. Deal? Deal.)
I bought some tarot cards in August. I watched some weekly tarot readings on YouTube and decide that I wanted some. Yep. That is the grand secret of how I’ve been falling into these things over the past year or two. I see it, think it’s dope, acquire it, then figure out how to use it later. This is also my approach with shoes and apps from the Apple App Store. I received some tarot readings over the past two months and they were informative. I prefer to just let the information come to me without divulging specifics, I’m still a low-key skeptic at times. Some how, they were incredibly on point. Fast forward to a week or so ago, I recognized that I needed to start reading my own cards and not depend on other’s to tell me about myself. Source/Spirit/God can talk to me directly. If I’m led to get a reading my someone else, I’m not opposed to it, but I prefer to be the direct recipient of information in all aspects of my being, as shown by my extensive Google searches about nearly everything.
Tarot, crystals, and creativity require you to tap into your intuition and trust yourself. Without your intuition, you’re just a person with art supplies who looks at pretty pictures and has a cool rock collection. It establishes an expectation of vulnerability and trust that Christianity destroyed for me. It tells me that I’m inherently bad and can’t be trusted to make decisions on my own. Go debate somebody else about this, that’s not why we are gathered here today.
So . . .
I pulled some cards . . .
And this is what happened . . .
I gathered some crystals (selenite, tiger’s eye, smokey quartz and blue kyanite), sat down on a blanket on the floor, took a deep breath and talked to my grandmother for a second. I greeted her, apologized for ignoring her for all these years and spending more time talking about her than directly to her. I asked for her and Source to send messages in the form of this particular tarot spread I stumbled across on Instagram. I asked for only the benevolent messages to come through and all malicious energies to be blocked. This may sound like some deep ritual but I literally sat there and talked to her like I talked to her my entire life. “Hi Grandma!” I haven’t said those words since November 2012. Needless to say, I was dragged, scalped and edgeless by the end of it because Source and Elizabeth wasted no time. It felt like they said “Well since you finally asked, I have a list. (*unrolls scroll*) Let’s get to it!” See, my grandma knows I don’t need sugar-coated anything and I don’t do well with indirect messages. Say it with your full chest and with clarity so there isn’t room for misunderstanding.
With that being said, we all jumped right in. “We” meaning Source, my grandmother, my current self and a surprise appearance from my higher self who I think is just a more blunt combination of the three aforementioned beings but I need time to sit and ponder that part.
This is the Dope Lessons Tarot Spread from Kaleidadope Tarot.
This spread asks 5 questions:
- What lessons am I learning?
- What lessons have I already learned/mastered?
- What am I struggling with?
- What will help me overcome this struggle?
- What’s dope about this lesson?
Seems harmless right? You might be wondering how I got my feelings hurt by some cards with pictures on them. Honestly, I can’t explain the exact way how Tarot works. I believe that there are spirits existing on other planes of existence and connecting planes to transmute information is possible. I also believe that my grandma loves me too much to ignore me and not help me when I asked for guidance. I told her I would do so before she passed and I reminded her shortly after her death. In this instance, I used the tarot cards as a tool to help bridge between planes and receive assistance directly. These are the notes and messages that occurred.
Question One: What lessons am I learning? Card: Two of Swords.
- Two = Balance, partnership and duality; Swords = truth, intellect and communication
- At a cross roads, need to make a decision
- Have I been procrastinating on a decision?
- A new beginning will start after the decision, suggested by the moon on the card.
- A refusal to use my intuition, suggested by the rocky water and blindfold
- The moon symbolizes intuition and feminine energy
- What am I ignoring??? And is the answer sitting right in front of me but I’m ignoring my intuition hoping for a different set of options?
- Will removing the blindfold reveal the choice?
Question Two: What lessons have I already learned/mastered? Card: Page of Pentacles.
- Page = messages; Pentacles = material things, money, earth element
- This card is about skill development, manifestation, and financial opportunity
- This guy is looking at the gold coin as if he knows he can manifest more
- Translation: you know how to manifest, do it more often
- Page = youth; Am I seeing value in my youth, skills and surroundings?
- People refer to me as dependable because I am, see reality for what it is
- See all that is real and practical, this card signals that money is a tool/energy to be used
- I can find a calm and rational approach to problems, including finances
- What I have can be made into something bigger than myself
- I already know how to create what I want, so do it!!!
- I control money, it doesn’t control me.
Question Three: What am I struggling with? Card: Seven of Cups.
- Seven = reflection, assessment, knowledge; Cups = emotions, creativity, intuition
- This card is about opportunities, temptation, choices, illusion, wishful thinking
- A man is in front of cups with various “gifts” but they are not all good or positive
- I need to focus on the choices best for me instead of short-term temptations that feel good but are dangerous (stress eating).
- Am I actively not working toward my goals and then catching an attitude because nothing is progressing forward? Spoiler: yes
- Do my desires have absolutely nothing to do with my current actions, patterns and behaviors? Spoiler: yes, they don’t relate and I need to change that.
- Are my immediate temptations side tracking me from my goals? I know the answer. I don’t like the answer.
- Hey Lynona, naps don’t get paintings, blog posts, or degrees done! Just FYI.
- This card really felt like my grandma smacked me upside the head for being a dummy . . . I’ll do better, I promise.
Question Four: What will help me overcome this struggle? Card: Four of Cups.
- Four = structure, stability, manifestation; Cups = emotions, creativity, intuition
- You can probably predict how this section went… structure + emotions
- There is a person sitting under a tree, either meditating or sleeping, who doesn’t see the three cups in front of them or the “help” being offered. *insert dramatic eye roll @ myself here*
- This card was the biggest face palm I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I felt seen but not in the good way.
- I’m not seeing opportunities that are literally right there in front of my face if I just opened my eyes and tapped into myself. LITERALLY! RIGHT! THERE!
- There are people other than myself. It seems obvious, but I truly forget this sometimes. There are people already in every field I want to tap into who would be more than willing to offer guidance and assistance. The tool box exists, I just have to learn what the tools are and how to use them.
- “Your isolation is self-imposed and help is RIGHT THERE! STOP IT!!” – a message that came directly from my higher self, I heard it plain as day and that last part was screamed at me.
- Stop detaching, Source is right there if I just open my eyes. It’s at face level. Just. There. Being handed to me. *face palm*
- This dude is chilling under this tree, not doing anything, while opportunities are being ignored or unrealized right in front of him.
- “Wake up. Stop sulking/sleeping/being inside yourself”
- “Be open to new experiences” – this comes after me thinking about how to cancel my Denver trip because the anxiety about what to do there was becoming overwhelming just a few hours ago, I also decided that I’m going skydiving before the end of the year an hour ago.
- This card felt like the “now that we have addressed the problem, here are some solutions” conversation from every Parent-Teacher Conference I’ve caused.
Question Five: What’s dope about this lesson? Card: The Fool.
- The Fool. He kinda exists outside of everybody else in the deck, which I appreciate.
- This card is about unlimited potential, new beginnings, adventure, innocence, and risk-taking.
- He is ready to conquer and has what he needs already packed up and ready to start this new thing. There are mountains in the background but he will worry about those when he gets to them. He has a dog for support and loyalty, the dog really isn’t there for protection or guidance. A companion more than anything else.
- The sun is out, he isn’t hiding or being sneaky. He is seizing the day for what it is! #LifeGoals
- He is alone. Being alone is something I’ve always wrestled with, especially as I embark on this paths no one in my day-to-day life has ever tried. I’m going to be physically, spiritually and mentally alone at times but the sun (Source/Spirit, my grandmother, my intuition) are around so I’m never really fully isolated. Just lonely sometimes.
- Let us observe something for a second. The Fool is not dressed for hiking or long travels. Nobody said he was well-versed and experienced, but he does represent innocence and taking risks. Did he fully think this through? Probably not. But how will he ever get to the point of learning and redirecting if he never starts?
- Just start the thing Lynona! You will probably do something stupid but learning from the stupid thing requires doing the stupid thing and doing the stupid things requires actually doing a thing in the first place. No successful person made the right/best decision 100% of their journey, make the mistakes and learn from them. Fail up.
- Right now, in this moment, there are an infinite number of ways life can go. Anything can happen. My wildest dreams and my most horrid nightmares.
- I need to go define my own freedom. It doesn’t look the same for everyone. And no one else on this earth can tell me what my freedom looks and feels like.
- This card felt like a hug from her telling me that she loved me, is proud of me, and I can conquer anything I set my mind to knowing that she will be rooting for me every step of the way. I’m going to make mistakes, it’s a part of being alive and growing. But like . . . I doubt I’ll make any mistakes that will result in federal prison, I don’t want a girlfriend named Bertha.
I’m going to post more about these things, They allow me to organize my thoughts and see connections to continue getting told about myself from a higher source. I throughly enjoy getting told about myself from places that have no reason to lie to me. It may hurt but you can’t “do better” if you don’t know where you have been performing poorly.