Dope conversations are dope.
That is my profound thought for the week. You’re welcome.
Onwards and upwards.
a: to honor (an occasion, such as a holiday) especially by solemn ceremonies or by refraining from ordinary business The nation celebrates Memorial Day.
b: to mark (something, such as an anniversary) by festivities or other deviation from routine celebrated their 25th anniversary
Do you celebrate enough?
Often I have very introspective and world-shattering conversations with me, my higher self and my inner child. But every now and then, somebody else says something that fractures how I view myself and I appreciate them for it. So this time, I realized that I don’t celebrate enough. I don’t celebrate anything, across the board. I lightly acknowledge them and keep it moving. My friends are always more excited about my accomplishments, dreams and life events than I am. I’ve been like this for years. It could stem back to me rarely being able to have the birthday party or events that I truly wanted. It could stem to that bogus birthday party my stepmother had “for my birthday” without inviting any of my actual friends. Seriously, my two closest friends weren’t difficult to find. But whatever, that is a can of worms to be opened on another day. It could be my introversion and strange social skills that make my parties much smaller and more boring than a party Dion would have. Celebrating my birthday is something that enters the outside perimeter of my consciousness and is then dismissed until someone else brings it up again. It’s just not something I find joy in because I’ve had too many underwhelming birthdays.
When other people say “I’m doing _____ for my birthday,” I can’t relate. Or when they specifically plan something for their birthday, I can’t relate. The only reason I’m hyper aware of my birthday is because October is usually a flaming trash can and that aspect usually end in the first few days of November. I often worry if my birthday will also be a flaming trash can but it’s just boring.
This year (2018), I went to Denver. Last year (2017), I went to the Dali Museum. The year before (2016), I went to dinner. 2015, I came home and went to an art festival with my Granddad and Ronesia. For the record, I didn’t plan any of these events to occur near my birthday, I wanted to do them and someone else said “Oh we can do that for your birthday!” *shrugs*
I guess. Trust me, when you have a friend like Dion, he makes sure everybody knows it’s your birthday.
A few years ago, I took my birthday off my Facebook page to see how many birthday messages I would get. It wasn’t many. That is when I realized that people will do things because it’s socially expected. There were people who I didn’t even interact with between those yearly birthday messages. Not a useful expense of my energy. No hard feelings.
Back to the original question: Do you celebrate enough? Do you celebrate yourself?
My answer: No. I don’t. And I should.
I have a few excuses, but they’re just that, excuses. I found another neurological pathway to rewire. These types of things excite me now. A new thing that needs to be observed and corrected? Let’s go!!! I may throw myself into energetic frenzy but it’s for my highest good so stress eating pretzels is almost worth it.
Celebrations are foreign to me. Graduations. Anniversaries. Work promotions. Birthdays. Personal goals. Growth. These are all things I recognize but the desire to commemorate them is elusive to me. I’m going to work on that by following other people’s lead on the matter.